Discipline and Today's Children by Ashley Ayling
Without doubt, probably 99.9% of parents or guardians have had to, at some time, threaten their children with a smack. It is not something the parents actually wish to carry out and are hopeful the threat is sufficient. Of course today, to even smack a child is regarded as a crime and we have to look at the effectiveness of the elimination of the smack. It would be easy to produce statistics to show, either way if punishment was effective but we run into all sorts of problems when attempting to define what a smack actually is. To one person it is a clip around the ear or a smack to the legs but with what ferocity is not easily calculated, as to another person it could be a punch with force. We also have to ask if punishment of any kind is acceptable within our society today?
Adults cannot and should not express such emotions as anger and frustration when dealing with young children who will not do as they are told, because the child is inexperienced and the immaturity of youth is not evil, it is caused by a lack of experience.
We all know how frustrating it can be when a child is screaming or just will not do as the adult requests but if the adult can attempt to get the child to ask for advice, it will help. Children as young as eighteen months old do have a level of mental awareness and a desire to learn. It is this desire that has to be harnessed and developed. Character in a child is developed by the storing of advice and experiences. Consequently bad advice and bad experiences will fill a child's mind with very negative content. Not all experiences can be good and when the adult is in a bad situation it is better to share it with the child who will learn from the experience.
The Folly of Youth has been with us since human beings and indeed animals were created. The more obstinate the child the more likely he or she is liable to be humiliated and the best course of action is to let the child be humiliated. Frequently, this is the only course of action, as long as the child knows it can return to the adult for advice and a degree of compassion.
Sometimes an incorrigible child or youth must be punished but the punishment must not be delivered in anger and must be restricted to the objective of preventing unjustified excesses. Punishment is never an end in itself but helps to restore order.
Throughout history civilizations have adopted many forms of punishment when dealing with youth and generally the previously accepted punishment resulted in a rap across the knuckles with a stick as in Buddhist practices. The use of the cane in Islamic punishment is well documented for youth and adults. In western cultures the cane was used sparingly at most private and public schools until outlawed. Many, many adults do not believe in punishing their children in any way and many only resort to the short, sharp smack that only has to be administered on a few occasions as the future threat of a smack is usually very effective but each parent or guardian has to adopt a standard that is effective for the child or the youth.
The problem is far more complicated when dealing with the youth of today. They are more educated, more experienced (even if only by the means of the media) and their actions are not likely to cause a problem such as a young child running out into the road. The youth will demand his or her right to behave as an adult and even when the parent can see the consequences of any proposed actions, the adult cannot turn a blind eye and hope nothing terrible happens. The adult must return to the original plan that the inexperience of youth can be tempered with discussion and the pointing out of the pitfalls any planned actions may create.
Many adults have been forced to report their own children to the authorities and this can be a very hard decision to make but if other lives and indeed the life of one's own child is at risk, this can be a positive move. It may be a move that is regarded with contempt initially by the child but Authoritarian or Government interference should always be merely preventative and should have as its sole aim the establishment of public security and peace.
Remember the various Government and Social Services departments are there for the public to use and the employees have been trained to assist in most situations. They cannot always get a total solution for every situation but will attempt to do so and this in turn will assist the adult who may possibly be suffering very traumatic circumstances. Do not be afraid to reach out for help because, like children, we adults, sometimes require the benefit of advice from someone more experienced.
About the Author
Ashley Ayling owns two commercially driven websites, one selling new baby gifts and the other promoting gift baskets for children.
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